It’s past midnight but my mind is in havoc with all these memories that came flashing in front of me. I cannot shake off what I’m feeling and so here I am, not sure where this would lead but I know that this is something I have to let out. It just dawned on me that you will lose some friends along the way and that’s okay.
I have made a lot of friends in my life, some stayed and some just passed by and never looked back. Inasmuch as I wanted to keep relationships strong, there are really moments where people just outgrow each other. Sometimes there are no explanations, they just leave and you can’t do anything about it. But there are some people who create chaos before leaving. I think this is more painful as there are words said and feelings hurt. But no matter the cause, it still feels like a sh*tload of lactic acid was poured into that muscle called ‘heart’, causing a sensation famously termed as ‘breaking’ despite a muscle’s anatomical and physiological inability to break per se. I know, it’s quite absurd but it feels that way at the moment. Because why the heck not? Friendship is an investment – your time, effort, energy and love. So when it breaks apart, something in you breaks, too.
It’s never easy but as you grow older, you will realize that though it hurts, it teaches you lessons in life that you cannot get elsewhere.
You will value quality than quantity. They say that if you have many friends, you will feel special and loved, they are wrong. In most circumstances, a whole lot of people will be there for you only if you have something to give but when the going gets tough, that’s when you learn who will stick with you to face the current. As time passes by, you cross the names off your long list and create a blank page, only to see how blessed you are for keeping the good ones. After all, numbers are just numbers.
You get to know who your real people are. It never gets better than this. Sometimes I tend to regret the people that left, the people that I let go. But I realized that real friendship doesn’t end. My high school best friends are still my best friends now and we don’t even see each other every day. Our relationship remained strong because we deeply trust and love each other. That is what I call ‘genuine’. So in life, you will lose some but you will win some. And those wins? They are worth the losses.
You will discover yourself. Same goes with, “Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are”. It has both good and bad sides. Either way, I’m thankful that I found my passion and thirst to life because I met different kinds of people; because I opened up myself to strangers who then taught me that life is full of possibilities. I get to know myself each day because of who I surround myself with. I gained new best friends because I wasn’t afraid to shake hands. So have the courage to go out and meet new ones; drink with them; eat with them; travel with them; trust them with your secrets. It’s a tricky thing but how would you know if you never try? You may lose them eventually but the experience you had will stay with you.
Drifting apart from your friends is heartbreaking but you will heal. You will miss the hangouts, the laughter, the jokes and the late night conversations but when distance becomes farther, you simply cannot force them to stay in your life and you cannot force yourself to stay in theirs. You will thank yourself later for cutting the rope because you would never want to be suffocated from all the drama. It will be a long process but you know what, you’ll get over it. You will. As most heartbreaks really do. One day you will smile and remember the good times and by then, remembering will be enough like an old Polaroid film that you have been keeping.
At the end of the day, real friends never outgrow each other; they grow together.