I wanted to write something really special since this is my first blog post of the year, and well, because it’s my day! Though I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve apologized for not writing more often, I have no excuse but to say sorry again. I will not promise anything anymore but I will try to be more visible here…
Anyhoo, I should have written a birthday-resolution-and-things-I-want-to-do-this-year but I don’t want to disappoint myself when I look back next year LOL so this *long* post is about me turning twenty seven and for people who are at the same stage where the stress of “getting older” is creeping in…
The Great Late Twenties, so they say. In this stretch, people who are turning 27-29 are more likely in a phase where a big crossroad is inevitable. It is never easy when the world expects you to be something else entirely when you reach a certain age. There is now a debate of weather you are still in that YOLO mentality to take life seriously or you are now more stable to take things to another level. Sure, I have plans – tons of them, but I still cannot grasp the idea that some decisions I make can predict my future. Not just my life, my husband’s as well. What will happen to us in the next five years… Add the stress from people who keep on asking about making a baby – as if they are the ones who will raise our kids… *eye roll* Just the other night, my husband and I cried together. The good-kind-of-cry where we visualized our goals we want to achieve while we are in a place where nothing is permanent. It was a good reminder that I am not alone in this journey; that I have someone to lean on when things get tough…
Looking back, I think it’s safe to say that I like myself better now than what I was a year or two ago… Many things happened that changed how I view my life. I am here to tell you some things that I learned along the way that made me a stronger person and how I became more focused on what really matters.
I’m hoping you’ll read this, but more than that, I hope it will help you in one way or another.
1) Failures Come and Go. If you tell me that you never failed in your life, you’re a liar. You have to accept that failing is a good thing because it teaches you how to be humble, it motivates you to strive harder and it tells you that success takes time… I have my fair-share of failures – I didn’t get the job I wanted, I wasn’t able to fulfill a life-long dream last 2017. But I believe that everyone can be successful in their own perfect timing, specially if you push harder and never give up on it. Do don’t put yourself down when something didn’t click right away… Your failure doesn’t define you, how you get back up after that will.
2) YOUR Choices Are the Best Choices. Maybe in your teens or early twenties, you limit yourself with what your peers tell you to do; what they want you to wear or drink or eat… Heck, even the color of your lippie even if it doesn’t suit you. But at this rate, I am more concerned with what I like to do, what I want to wear, how I see myself… It became “more of me” and less of them – which is a good thing. Conforming with other people’s choices has become a safe-zone for me that I lost my sense of identity. But all I want to be right now is to become the best version of myself… (I may add some filters LOL but hey, this is me)
3) Get a Plan B. It gets to a point where things become too shtty too handle and you break down because you don’t have a Plan B. That’s when you start thinking of what happens next… Is this what you want to be? Is this where you want to be? If things don’t go well, what will happen to you, then? That’s why it is important to think of your future… Just don’t dwell in it too much when things don’t go as planned, because sometimes the greatest adventures come in unexpected ways. Have an ‘emergency plan’ but also live in the present.
4) No Drama for Your Momma. I mean, you rant once in a while but you now have more tolerance and patience not to engage with petty things that will do you no good. It’s easy to get distracted and be annoyed with anything and anyone but here’s one thing I learned: Your time is too precious to even bother. I guess it comes with maturity as well or maybe because you feel so happy and contented that you don’t want anyone to spoil your mood. So yeah, no drama, btches!
5) Self-care Matters. I mean this physically, emotionally and mentally. You are not getting any younger so you are more prone to skin dryness and whatnots, so I guess it’s time to take an extra effort to find something that will help you feel physically good. It’s not about your appearance per se, it’s more of making sure that your body gets the care that it deserves. I am religiously watching some skincare routines now (I never did before lol) and when I’m not too lazy, I run with my husband… Small steps… 😉 And of course, emotionally and mentally… Surround yourself with positivity. Find a new hobby. Talk to your old friends. Date yourself on your payday. Try to lessen your complains and regrets. Nothing makes you feel better than having a peace of mind.
The key is balance. Balance your time – your personal life and the time you spend on social media. For me, I make sure to leave a day in a week where I get to do anything that is not blog-or-job-related. I spend it at home watching Netflix, sleeping the whole afternoon and cuddling with my husband… Just the simple things but they make a huge difference.
6) Redefine Your Relationships Because You Can. I’ve said it a million times before, I’ll say it again: Losing some friends along the way isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes I think it’s one of the reasons why I chose not to engage with anyone so easily in real life now. It is better to stay close to the people who matter than be in a crowd where no one really cares. It’s easy to socialize in this place but I learned to become choosy of people who I want to spend my time with. It’s not about being “prima-donna”, it’s about putting my well-being first before anything else. I now have a better understanding of what friendship and healthy relationships really mean. It is nice to keep in touch but I just really want to reconnect with the people I value and trust.
7) Find What Makes You Happy And Just Be. This sums up everything I just said… There are so many way to be happy but there is that one thing that will set everything in motion. For me, I went to see my family and traveled with my husband. But it could be anything. It may be traveling to a new place, finding a good record, reading a new book, watching an old film, finding a cute dress that fits, learning how to cook… Anything that will make your heart jump a little… Find that and make the best out of it.
You see, I did not get here by accident. And I am still trying so damn hard everyday to keep up. You may be in the middle of the biggest decision you will ever make or in the midst of finding out who you are and what you want, you may be in that road for a while now without knowing what to do next… Let me remind you that it’s okay. It’s okay to take your time and go on your own phase. It is never too early nor too late for you to start something, somewhere. This is your life. Never make yourself feel like you don’t deserve to be here. One day, when you’re ready, you will cross that line and be happy that you did it according to your terms.
Disclaimer: I am still learning to keep these things going because as you may know, break downs happen… Though I am hopeful that this new year in my life will bring me joy and opportunities and abundance. No ride is easy but with God and the people I keep, I think I can pull another year through!